What is my Fetish?

JOURNAL TOPIC: If you had to condense and define what it is that draws you into this lifestyle down to a single fetish, what would it be and why?


I have spent some time recently trying to figure out precisely how I would define my sexual desires, or needs. In other words, exactly what is it that excites me...
There are so many things that I enjoy doing, or having done to me, so many things that thrill me. 
 
Bondage, knife play, needle play, spanking, flogging, whips, canes, humiliation, exhibition, voyeurism, blindfolds, gags, fear, pain, I could go on and on.

I can't really consider any of them to be fetishes. 
 
A Fetish is defined as:

Formally: a non-sexual object whose presence is REQUIRED for sexual arousal or climax;

Informally: anything not generally considered sexual, which arouses a person.

None of those things, in and of themselves are REQUIRED for me to become sexually aroused or to bring me to climax. They are nothing more than tools used to support or compliment my actual underlying fetish.

Being submissive, also can not be considered my fetish either...

Keeping in mind that a fetish, by definition, is ALWAYS connected to the sexual nature, it is then logical to conclude that simply being submissive in everyday life is not necessarily to be considered a fetish, unless the act of being submissive, in and of itself, is absolutely required for a person to be capable of achieving sexual arousal and/or climax.

In general, however, being submissive speaks more to a person's character or personal nature, that which defines who he or she is as a person, rather than to their more primitive sexual nature. 
 
I have a submissive personality, which expresses itself not only in sexual ways, but also in many non-sexual ways, and therefore, while it is undoubtedly connected to my sexual nature, it is not synonymous with it, thus submissiveness in and of itself, is not my fetish.

So, therein lies the question... WHAT IS MY FETISH?

When you look at the numerous different things listed above that excite me two things stand out more than the others. Two of those words, when I see them, say them, or hear them, create within me, a consuming need.

Bondage, and Humiliation.

Just the thought of experiencing either of these two things, whether individually, or Heaven help me, BOTH at the same time, sends waves of emotion and excitement rippling through me.

So what do these two things say about my sexual nature, and how do they work to help me to define my fetish?

Humiliation leaves me feeling vulnerable and helpless. It incites within me a desire to run and/or hide.

Bondage, removes from me whatever ability I might otherwise have to control or have a direct effect upon what is happening around me, or to me. It intensifies those feelings of vulnerability and helplessness, because it completely prevents me from being able to run or hide to begin with, and forces me to fully experience that vulnerability, and embrace it. Bondage forces me to accept that I have no choice, but to accept it and allow it to envelope me, to consume me, and it is in being consumed by it that I am able to freely give myself over to it.

Ultimately, my fetish is the experience of vulnerability that comes from the forced removal of choice or control.