Discretion around Family

Journal Prompt:

Dealing with Family - How do you maintain your dynamic when you are around family members whom are unaware of your lifestyle? 

For example, if you are expected to ask permission to do certain things, how would you seek that permission without being obvious about it?

No one in either Hubby's or my family know anything about our lifestyle, so it's important for us to be as discreet as possible.

Most of the time, it's as simple as merely being respectful toward each other and not arguing with Him or correcting statements or details of stories that He's telling. Showing Him a little extra consideration, like asking Him if He would like something to eat or drink if I'm up and getting something something for myself.

times it takes a bit more thought. For example, I am trying to stop smoking, and am required to ask permission to have a cigarette.

When we are around family, there are numerous ways I will seek his permission so that people don't catch on to any particular pattern of behavior. I sometimes will play with my cigarette case or tap on it and wait for Him to make eye contact and lightly nod His head.

Sometimes I'll text Him to ask, then wait a few minutes so no one makes a connection between a text and me lighting up. I will also occasionally mention that I'm thinking about stepping outside for a smoke and ask Hubby if He would like to join me, at which point He'll either join me or tell me to go ahead without Him.

It took some getting used to at first, but it's pretty much become second nature to us now... It has definitely caused us to become much more in tune with each other and we pay a lot more attention to each other now.

Sister sub?

Prompt: How would you feel if your Dom/Master had another sub/slave? Would you be jealous? How would you handle it? Has it ever happened or been considered? 

This is something we have discussed and tried, briefly, in the past. It didn't work out, but it had nothing to do with jealousy on my part. My "sister sub" had a few life circumstances that she needed to work through, that had nothing to do with us. 

There was no animosity between she and I, whatsoever, in fact, we still talk at times. However, they didn't remain in their dynamic for very long, so I cannot say for certain if I would eventually have developed feelings of jealousy or not.


I have no doubt that the probability exists,that I might have experienced brief moments of jealousy, had their dynamic have become something more permanent, and I would like to believe, and am quite certain, that I would feel secure enough in our marriage to recognize my momentary feelings as irrational and trust in my Husband's love for me and for our family, regardless. Plus, she is also married and thus, her dynamic with Hubby was also HER secondary or "beta" relationship.


Their dynamic was opposite of ours in that she was not in the slightest masochistic, but instead, her preferences were much more sensual than mine, so I didn't feel that there was any sort of competition between us. For the brief time that she was part of our lives, it allowed Hubby to begin to explore a completely different side of Himself that had nothing to do with me or OUR dynamic.


Hubby also has a bit of a submissive side to Him, as well, so there is also the consideration of Him possibly some day having a Domme. This might be a bit more difficult for me. 

In theory, I would have no problem with Him exploring that side of Himself. Where my problem might arise, would be in whether or not the Domme would be able to accept being Hubby's "beta" relationship, with me being "Alpha" even though I am submissive and she Dominant. So long as that didn't become an issue, I believe that things would work out just fine.

Ultimately, so long as our marriage relationship and our family remains the most important priority in HIS, as well as MY, life... then any and all other issues could be worked through with respect and open and honest communication.